A real friend comes over for supper when your husband is out of town and you are sweaty and gross and the dog is insanely emotionally needy. She seasons your chili for you because you hate that part and then helps you eat it even though it is one million degrees out and normal people don’t eat chili on hot days. She compares her poison ivy with your pregnancy eczema and you go on a slow and sweltering waddle with the dog around the neighborhood.*

*Important to note: the dog, driven bonkers by said husbeast’s absence, is almost certainly the one who gave her poison ivy in the first place.